Percy's Secret Pigs Copyright © 2009 John Snell

"What’s that noise coming from Percy’s shed?"
I asked my Mum one day
I think she knew all along
But didn’t like to say

"I think he must be doing something"
She said, rather than be upfront
"Surely someone ought to help him” I reply
"Cos I can hear the occasional grunt"

I’ve seen him carrying bags of something
All the way down to the shed
Looking like Father Christmas
Without a hat on his head

I didn’t know what was in the bags
But I had a good idea
So for now I’ll keep it under wraps
And go by what I hear

The grunt didn’t sound that human to me
Animalistic I think
And that’s another question I asked
Who is creating all that stink?

If it’s Percy who’s responsible
I’m sure the doc must have a cure
To me it smells like something familiar
Yes! More like farmyard manure

I notice he’s put a light in the shed
And is out there in the middle of the night
I wouldn’t have known he was there
But strange noises woke me up with a fright

And why is he digging his garden?
At two o’clock in the morn
I’ve noticed he’s always out there
But goes in just before dawn

His veggies are always superior to ours
And I’ve often wondered why
He has two foot long parsnips
And runner beans ten feet high

Once in a while I’m woken up
By a lorry, and a lot of grunts and squeals
Looking closer I spy four legged animals
Being loaded onto these wheels

Unless I’m mistaken, Percy
They look like pigs to me
I know the light is not very good
But good enough for me to see!

You know you shouldn’t keep them
I’m sure the council will create merry hell
But don’t worry, as long as the occasional leg of pork comes our way
We’re certainly not going to tell